It’s incredible, really, that there are still people out there who don’t seem to know when it is and isn’t appropriate to call 9-1-1.
On another level, chronicling the mystifying, often hilarious, usually misguided world of funny 911 calls makes us feel like Al Pacino in The Godfather, Part III: Every time we think we’re out, these silly, ridiculous and just plain wrong calls pull us back in.
We’ve found another batch of funny stories about people who need a refresher course in what the word “emergency” means, so it’s time to share some more outrageous 911 call stories with you. Enjoy!
One night in December of 2011, a man in Miami named Terry Lynn Kimbell decided his craving for Taco Bell was too powerful to resist, and that he had to hit their drive-thru as quickly as possible. The only problem was the Kimbell was too drunk to drive, and he knew that the restaurant wouldn’t let him walk through the drive through; that’s against the rules.
So perhaps thinking it was worth a shot, and maybe even thinking he was being responsible about it, Kimbell called 911 and asked to be connected to police dispatch so he could request a special favor: No, he didn’t need a ride; he wanted the police to call the manager of Taco Bell and ask if they could make an exception.
Rather than getting his snack fix, Kimbell got arrested for misusing 911.
Back in 2010, a 57-year-old Ohio woman called 911 with what she obviously considered a serious emergency: She was having trouble finding a husband.
And she was persistent about it as well; she called three times before the exasperated operator finally told her that she was risking arrest for using 911 for non-emergency purposes, and that was apparently all she needed to hear. She happily asked the operator to send an officer, preferably a male one, right over.
Math Emergency
Let’s face it, there are some problems that are very difficult to solve, especially when you’re four years old. And for many children, no problem is more difficult than a math problem.
So what better way to get help with that kind of an issue than to call 911, where the little boy in question had certainly learned there were plenty of people ready and willing to assist him.
That’s exactly what this particular four-year-old did (allegedly acting on instructions from his mother).
Sometimes you really need to know the answer to, “What’s 16 minus 8?” But maybe there are other ways to go about it.
Sounds Like He’s Already Been There
Back in 2010 in Sarasota, FL, a man called 911 because he needed a ride. Which already puts him on the wrong track, unless he needed a ride in an ambulance for some reason.
But no, this man needed a ride to the local liquor store, and as he somewhat woozily attempts to persuade the operator to send some officers to help him get there, he even insists that the local sheriff assured him that the police could help him out.
No word on whether or not the cops took him on a different ride, but perhaps the headache he had the next day was punishment enough.
It Really Was Pretty Loud, But Still…
In 2013, a Waukesha, WI man called 911 to ask that a person be removed from his home. This happens, of course, from time to time, but in this case the only threat this person posed to the caller was keeping him awake.
Apparently, the caller had a friend over who ended up falling asleep. But her snoring was so loud that it banished him to the living room.
So he called 911 from the couch to have emergency responders come over to his house and get her out so he could get some sleep.
The punchline here is that they actually did it.
Want more funny 911 stories? Read “Our Top 6 Favorite Funny 911 Calls.”
